Something I wrote to someone, I can’t remember who, but I came across it in my Notes.
Okay, firstly I completely understand your trust issues.
Trust is a very very very big deal for me, especially due to past experiences with unfaithful people.
It is true when they say it takes moments to break and ages to build.
So she needed ” closure ” which sounds like she had feelings for this other person.
It’s normal to sometimes gain feelings for someone else when your in a relationship, but at the end of the day it’s a matter of whether or not you act on those feelings.
So after she cheated, it sounds as if she was very confused and didn’t know what she wanted, I think she shouldn’t have strung you along. You probably should have gone on a long break and had time apart but then again, once a couple is living together, everything is a lot more full on and it makes things hard at times.
I lived with my ex for 8 months and I realised how much moving together is a very big thing and shouldn’t be rushed.
I also can not stand liars. It’s so hard when you want to trust someone and you try and sometimes you even try to convince yourself that you do, but you really don’t and just can’t .
It is also hard to let go of someone you have been with for so long, have spent so much time together, someone you see everyday, someone who knows you from the inside out and has seen every side of you and someone you love.
Another thing I’ve learnt is that if you have no trust and it seems as if there is no hope of being able to gain that trust or for someone to change, then it’s pretty much not going to lead anywhere good.
Sometimes it even leads to feelings getting weaker over time.
Or even relationships slowly dying.
Sometimes you have to go with your gut feeling.
Being strung along is one of the worst feelings.
It’s really upto you.
You can either try again.
Or try to let go.
Because if you don’t take a step either back or forward, you will be stuck
And being stuck is shit feeling too.
Things will just be going around in circles.
Sometimes we just have to make a choice for the sake of knowing one of the possibilities, sometimes we make the wrong and we can go back and choose the alternative, and sometimes we cant. We just have to deal. But thats life.
We also need to make a choice or move so that were not just kept wondering because that can drive us insane.
I know all I said is pretty much common sense but I hope it helps.
At the end of the day, you both will one day move on. You will meet someone new. And this time around you have the past experience and knowledge to be more cautious and wise when determining if someone is trustworthy. If they are worth it and if you will let them in.
That’s what I try to think about bad relationships. I try to learn from them. I’ve experienced the negative, which has made me aware of the negative, which has made me more alert for future people negatives, those of whom I do not let in. If you can pick up on negatives in people then you will be able to know who the positive ones are. The keepers.
The process sucks when letting go and moving on. You feel lost and you feel empty. But you just have to tell yourself that you will get through it and when you do, you won’t regret it.
